I got super homesick the week of thanksgiving. knowing all my fam was going to be together and I was MIA made me a little sad. but we celebrated with many baked goods and some hearty chicken. guess Turkeys dont live in Russia. we watched a movie and had us a good old time. definitely didnt feel like Thanksgiving.
Finals were this week. So glad to be done! Russian Language Final was super easy. Couldn't believe it. Then I had a huge research paper due. And then went out with a literal bang, more like a bomb going off. Had my final exam in my Russian Lecture class. That was doomed to failure from the beginning. it was sooo difficult. let's hope the essay saves me. but I dont have a good feeling about it. Just happy to be done. whew.
Our closing ceremony and final party were today. We thanked our teachers and gave them presents. Then we had our party tonight. It was chaotic at the start but eventually slowed down. I sang a song in Russian with my Russian friend Katya. Despite the technical difficulties (aka crappy microphone stands), it went pretty good. American and Russian students performed various things. All our host families were there. And then of course there was dancing. Russians love to dance.
I sat there tonight thinking how crazy it was that almost 3 months ago we arrived in Nizhnii and had our welcome party in this same exact room. Now after making friendships with many of these students and getting to know our teachers and director in the International office, we're up and taking off. It really does go by fast. It's cliche but its true. I mean, it started off SOOOOO slow but it picked up and now time is just zooming by.
Tonight was rough. Katya, my Russian friend, cried when we said our goodbyes. I can remember the first time I met her. It was at the welcome party. She came up to me and a couple others and asked if we wanted to get some fresh air. That's when it didnt look like Siberia outside. We chatted and made converstaion. Eventually she visited us in the Profilac and we went on walks together to see the sunset. She in her heels. Crazy Russian women. The weekly run-ins in the International office during our chai break, sliding down the Kremlin hill in the snow and then practicing our russian song. Her playing guitar and me attempting to sing and speak russian at the same time. hard task. Now...its over. What a hard thing to have someone come in and out of your life in such a short amount of time. I dont know how she does it every semester.
We head out on the train Sunday night for Moscow. Spend over a week there and then I'm homeward bound. I feel like this trip has definitely been more about self discovery than anything else. I know way more about Russia than I ever thought I would but I also learned more about myself than I ever thought I would, espeically in Russia of all places. God's funny like that.
In case I dont get to post a final farewell....DASVADANYA!! Thanks for tuning in to my crazy life and wild Russian adventure.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
time and its creepiness
One week left of classes and I just can’t believe it. I sit here on my bed, my sister at her computer, listening to Christmas music and feeling like time has crept up on me. Was it really three months ago that I was in the airport, waving goodbye to my mom at security? Have I really survived Russia? I don’t know if I’m completely ready to leave yet. I remember arriving in the JFK airport, struggling with my over-packed bags, making the trek to the Lufthansa terminal. My guitar on my back, my handbag on my arm and my two rolling suitcases; what was I thinking? My shoulders and back were so sore the first week in St. Petersburg. I definitely learned my lesson. I don’t know how I’m going to manage on the way back, with all the souvenirs I’ve bought. I think I’m leaving some stuff here. A part of me will always be in Russia that way! I remember my first interaction with Lica and then meeting some of the gang once I got past security. Stephanie was the first one I really connected with. I remember sitting at the gate, observing everyone and honestly thinking: “they’re probably all a bunch of nerds.” Well…I wasn’t 100% wrong.
Today I went with my sister to her social club. For an hour and thirty minutes I sat there while they all discussed things in Russian. I did have a chance to pipe up and explain how to play duck duck goose. They were planning an event for children and needed some ideas for games. Later this afternoon we had a sport’s competition. All our families were invited to come, along with the Russian students who help in the international office, and we separated into three teams and did a whole bunch of silly relays. My team was second. Surprisingly, it was a lot of fun. I totally biffed it in the snow afterwards though. I could hear mumbling behind me and knew that the boys were planning some sort of white wash attack… and I was the target. So I interfered by defending myself and pushed good old Danny Boy around, to show him who’s boss of course, but found myself tripping over the sidewalk and fell flat on my face in the snow. I laid there for a few minutes while everyone laughed. Of course no one was kind enough to help me up so I managed on my own. That’s how it’s done in Russia.
Yesterday I went and saw my kids at the orphanage. They are so fun. Tiring but fun. I only have one more Friday with them. So sad. As we were leaving, the little little ones were walking down the hall single file. My heart just sank. I love those little guys. I couldn’t help but form a huge smile on my face. One of the little boys started talking to me and I just said ‘I don’t know’ (in Russian of course), then a second later he had turned around and started walking towards me talking to me again. I patted his adorable little head and I said ‘I don’t understand.’ The poor guy. I’m sure he was super confused. They are the cutest. Oh my word. I just want to take them all home with me. I think I want to adopt a Russian baby someday. I would love to do that. Then my Russian would come in handy! I’m doing a research paper on orphans and homeless children in Russia and have found out so far that 95% of the children in orphanages actually have a living parent at home. They wind up there because their parents take to alcoholism. Talk about sad. Yula, one of the girls, just yesterday told Lica and Stephanie that her dad died two weeks ago. This is reality.
Speaking of reality, I received some unsettling news. My little brother is going to Iraq. For those of you who don’t know, he’s in the Marine Reserves and it was actually his choice to go. He flies to North Carolina early January and does some training for a month or so and then ships off to Iraq until October. I just can’t believe it. I had convinced myself this would never happen, especially with him being in the Reserves. But…Scotty seems to be really excited about it and my family really supports his decision. He can make his family proud, but he’s gotta come back alive. That’s all I ask. He’s my little brother and only 19 (next month). So, I’m really antsy to get home now. Thankfully I’ll get to see him at Christmas before he goes off and becomes a hero.
My host sister just asked me this morning over breakfast if I thought my life will be different when I go back home. I told her yeah, I hope so. How could it not be? An experience like this will change anyone I think. I’ll still be the same ol Caryn from the block, but life will by no means be the same.
Today I went with my sister to her social club. For an hour and thirty minutes I sat there while they all discussed things in Russian. I did have a chance to pipe up and explain how to play duck duck goose. They were planning an event for children and needed some ideas for games. Later this afternoon we had a sport’s competition. All our families were invited to come, along with the Russian students who help in the international office, and we separated into three teams and did a whole bunch of silly relays. My team was second. Surprisingly, it was a lot of fun. I totally biffed it in the snow afterwards though. I could hear mumbling behind me and knew that the boys were planning some sort of white wash attack… and I was the target. So I interfered by defending myself and pushed good old Danny Boy around, to show him who’s boss of course, but found myself tripping over the sidewalk and fell flat on my face in the snow. I laid there for a few minutes while everyone laughed. Of course no one was kind enough to help me up so I managed on my own. That’s how it’s done in Russia.
Yesterday I went and saw my kids at the orphanage. They are so fun. Tiring but fun. I only have one more Friday with them. So sad. As we were leaving, the little little ones were walking down the hall single file. My heart just sank. I love those little guys. I couldn’t help but form a huge smile on my face. One of the little boys started talking to me and I just said ‘I don’t know’ (in Russian of course), then a second later he had turned around and started walking towards me talking to me again. I patted his adorable little head and I said ‘I don’t understand.’ The poor guy. I’m sure he was super confused. They are the cutest. Oh my word. I just want to take them all home with me. I think I want to adopt a Russian baby someday. I would love to do that. Then my Russian would come in handy! I’m doing a research paper on orphans and homeless children in Russia and have found out so far that 95% of the children in orphanages actually have a living parent at home. They wind up there because their parents take to alcoholism. Talk about sad. Yula, one of the girls, just yesterday told Lica and Stephanie that her dad died two weeks ago. This is reality.
Speaking of reality, I received some unsettling news. My little brother is going to Iraq. For those of you who don’t know, he’s in the Marine Reserves and it was actually his choice to go. He flies to North Carolina early January and does some training for a month or so and then ships off to Iraq until October. I just can’t believe it. I had convinced myself this would never happen, especially with him being in the Reserves. But…Scotty seems to be really excited about it and my family really supports his decision. He can make his family proud, but he’s gotta come back alive. That’s all I ask. He’s my little brother and only 19 (next month). So, I’m really antsy to get home now. Thankfully I’ll get to see him at Christmas before he goes off and becomes a hero.
My host sister just asked me this morning over breakfast if I thought my life will be different when I go back home. I told her yeah, I hope so. How could it not be? An experience like this will change anyone I think. I’ll still be the same ol Caryn from the block, but life will by no means be the same.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Lord love a duck
yep, it's definitely Russia. the snow has come and is here to stay. the winds have picked up and I'm quite shocked I haven't blown away. the scene from mary poppins often enters my mind.It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The streets are paved white and the ground is slick. I LOVE IT! Snow is comforting to me. I’m always disappointed by our winters in Washington. Maybe it’s the Eskimo in me.
mornings on the bus are still torturous. i find myself getting nauseaus and my limbs going numb. then there is the occasional surprise looking up and seeing my bus driver picking his nose and eating it. yeah. this is russia. i forgot to mention that a while back I went to the cinema and saw a documentary on british pop bands, like oasis. It was dubbed over in russian but still really interesting. gotta love wonderwall.
less than 2 weeks of class left. i'm super scared. scared for this russian language final we have to take. scared for this comprehensive final over every single thing i've learned all semester. the stress begins. i also have this 15 page research paper i'm working on. that's gonna be a doozy. it's a difficult process interviewing people that a speak a language you dont understand.
People will be people. My host family is great. My host dad has been nick-named ‘Mario” by the other American students. He is really funny and makes me laugh so much. Dinner conversations are the best with him. He always is saying ‘I am hungry’ and yells from his bedroom in the morning ‘bye bye’. He knows only a little English. He’s the cutest. And my mom is really fun too. She bought me gloves because I didn’t have any. She’s the best. They are both professors at different universities.
My host sister is Karina. Which translates to Caryn in English, how cool is that? The Russian students, ironically, had already been calling me Karina. And then somehow I acquired “Santa Karina”. This sister of mine though. She’s an odd one. Just a tad socially awkward. She basically runs my life. And she started liking a Russian boy. There’s definitely been unnecessary drama between the two. People will be people. Or kids rather. It’s nice to know we’re all the same. Whether in America or in Russia.
Mullets are everywhere. And when I say that, I mean both men and women have them. I was warned about going to a hairdresser here. I may get a she-mullet on accident. Makes me chuckle. I went with my host sister to the swimming pool today. Let’s just say, I didn’t do the banya…but I did the pool. Everywhere I looked there was a speedo. With some pretty big fella’s strutting them. Have I ever mentioned my distaste for speedo’s?
Like every Friday, Stephanie, Dan, Lica and I went to the orphanage. Except as soon as we got there, we were instantly told to turn around and go back and catch the bus before it left. I guess the older kids were at camp and they didn’t want us to play with the young ones. We were all bummed. But me and Lica ended up getting some pirogies and hung out at her apt. I stopped off at the Post Office and mailed some post cards. I ticked off several Russians. I think it was the 12 post cards I was buying stamps for. And for some reason, the post master puts all the stamps on herself then hands them back to me. This is Russia. Some things just don’t make sense. Actually, most things don’t make sense. We visited the Sakharov Museum. It was interesting, considering it was the apartment where the guy who made the H-bomb lived. Learned he was awarded the Noble Peace Prize. How ironic. A guy makes a nuclear bomb and realizes testing it would blow up the whole world…then turns anti-nuclear. Interesting.
It's pitch black outside by 4:30pm. And we get out of class at 4pm. It's a weird thing to get used to. I'm wanting to crawl into bed and sleep at 8 o'clock. Of course, anyone who knows me, knows that never happens. sleep? what's that?
I finally received the package my mom sent me in september. yep...almost two months. i finally have my power cord for my computer. Lord love a duck. the friends i've made on this trip are what keep me sane. or maybe keep me insane. either way. i couldnt do it without them. they definitely feed my hunger for laughter. just the other day I was coming to the reality of the fac that....soon we will all be departing and a lot of us will neve see eachother again. that's sad. it's gonna be hard to say goodbye. parting is such sweet sorrow...or something like that. leave the fancy words to the poets. its gonna suck.
mornings on the bus are still torturous. i find myself getting nauseaus and my limbs going numb. then there is the occasional surprise looking up and seeing my bus driver picking his nose and eating it. yeah. this is russia. i forgot to mention that a while back I went to the cinema and saw a documentary on british pop bands, like oasis. It was dubbed over in russian but still really interesting. gotta love wonderwall.
less than 2 weeks of class left. i'm super scared. scared for this russian language final we have to take. scared for this comprehensive final over every single thing i've learned all semester. the stress begins. i also have this 15 page research paper i'm working on. that's gonna be a doozy. it's a difficult process interviewing people that a speak a language you dont understand.
People will be people. My host family is great. My host dad has been nick-named ‘Mario” by the other American students. He is really funny and makes me laugh so much. Dinner conversations are the best with him. He always is saying ‘I am hungry’ and yells from his bedroom in the morning ‘bye bye’. He knows only a little English. He’s the cutest. And my mom is really fun too. She bought me gloves because I didn’t have any. She’s the best. They are both professors at different universities.
My host sister is Karina. Which translates to Caryn in English, how cool is that? The Russian students, ironically, had already been calling me Karina. And then somehow I acquired “Santa Karina”. This sister of mine though. She’s an odd one. Just a tad socially awkward. She basically runs my life. And she started liking a Russian boy. There’s definitely been unnecessary drama between the two. People will be people. Or kids rather. It’s nice to know we’re all the same. Whether in America or in Russia.
Mullets are everywhere. And when I say that, I mean both men and women have them. I was warned about going to a hairdresser here. I may get a she-mullet on accident. Makes me chuckle. I went with my host sister to the swimming pool today. Let’s just say, I didn’t do the banya…but I did the pool. Everywhere I looked there was a speedo. With some pretty big fella’s strutting them. Have I ever mentioned my distaste for speedo’s?
Like every Friday, Stephanie, Dan, Lica and I went to the orphanage. Except as soon as we got there, we were instantly told to turn around and go back and catch the bus before it left. I guess the older kids were at camp and they didn’t want us to play with the young ones. We were all bummed. But me and Lica ended up getting some pirogies and hung out at her apt. I stopped off at the Post Office and mailed some post cards. I ticked off several Russians. I think it was the 12 post cards I was buying stamps for. And for some reason, the post master puts all the stamps on herself then hands them back to me. This is Russia. Some things just don’t make sense. Actually, most things don’t make sense. We visited the Sakharov Museum. It was interesting, considering it was the apartment where the guy who made the H-bomb lived. Learned he was awarded the Noble Peace Prize. How ironic. A guy makes a nuclear bomb and realizes testing it would blow up the whole world…then turns anti-nuclear. Interesting.
It's pitch black outside by 4:30pm. And we get out of class at 4pm. It's a weird thing to get used to. I'm wanting to crawl into bed and sleep at 8 o'clock. Of course, anyone who knows me, knows that never happens. sleep? what's that?
I finally received the package my mom sent me in september. yep...almost two months. i finally have my power cord for my computer. Lord love a duck. the friends i've made on this trip are what keep me sane. or maybe keep me insane. either way. i couldnt do it without them. they definitely feed my hunger for laughter. just the other day I was coming to the reality of the fac that....soon we will all be departing and a lot of us will neve see eachother again. that's sad. it's gonna be hard to say goodbye. parting is such sweet sorrow...or something like that. leave the fancy words to the poets. its gonna suck.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
a girl on a slow pony home
It’s pretty crazy how normal life has become. Even after moving in with my host family. I don’t know if it’s just me and the fact that I adjust rather quickly to new situations and places. I thought I’d be missing home more than I do. I’ve found that it becomes easier the longer you are away. It’s always weird and hard at first but then you get into a routine. You get used to how things are. Like that fact that the toilet is in a different room than the sink and shower. You always take your shoes off at the door. Traffic is horrendous. Cold water stops working for no reason at all. Taxi drivers get lost. Wallets are stolen on the bus. The power goes out in a whole apartment complex. The store is all out of your favorite kind of chocolate cookies. Everyone carries a plastic bag with them. Mom won’t let you out of the house without a hat on. Russians dancing in the halls at school. Drinking tea 5 times a day. Being served tongue for lunch. Using hand motions 99% of the time. Having to take your own role of toilet paper to the bathroom with you. People doing drugs on the street. Men giving up their seat for ladies on the bus. Showering at night. Not showering for days in a row.
I think before I came to Russia I had the mentality that America was at the center of the world. And it may be in some aspects. I guess I’m just realizing how big our world really is. There is so much out there. So much to be seen. So much to learn. I feel like my journey to Russia has opened my mind a lot. It’s also triggered a lot of desires within me. Like my desire to travel. So broad yet so simple. I feel like once I get back to the states, I won’t know what to do with myself. I graduate in May and that’s a scary thing. But it’s also exciting because I have the whole world in front of me. Where will I venture off to next? Where will this heart lead me? There are moments, like for instance, when I was gargling this nasty medicine stuff for my sore throat and it just hit me. I’m 11 hours away from what I always thought was reality. But the truth is, I’m living reality. This is life, right now. Whether I’m in America where I’m safe and comfortable or in a foreign country, challenged by unfamiliar things. Time doesn’t stop. And it definitely doesn’t run according to my schedule.
It’s only the beginning of a world I’m dying to see
Frightening yet exciting
My pulse races to the beat of this dream
I feel I’m jumping into a faith I don’t know if I have
And courage, I’m still trying to find
My heart longs for things I can’t explain
My feet are drawn to a place I’ve never been
I think before I came to Russia I had the mentality that America was at the center of the world. And it may be in some aspects. I guess I’m just realizing how big our world really is. There is so much out there. So much to be seen. So much to learn. I feel like my journey to Russia has opened my mind a lot. It’s also triggered a lot of desires within me. Like my desire to travel. So broad yet so simple. I feel like once I get back to the states, I won’t know what to do with myself. I graduate in May and that’s a scary thing. But it’s also exciting because I have the whole world in front of me. Where will I venture off to next? Where will this heart lead me? There are moments, like for instance, when I was gargling this nasty medicine stuff for my sore throat and it just hit me. I’m 11 hours away from what I always thought was reality. But the truth is, I’m living reality. This is life, right now. Whether I’m in America where I’m safe and comfortable or in a foreign country, challenged by unfamiliar things. Time doesn’t stop. And it definitely doesn’t run according to my schedule.
It’s only the beginning of a world I’m dying to see
Frightening yet exciting
My pulse races to the beat of this dream
I feel I’m jumping into a faith I don’t know if I have
And courage, I’m still trying to find
My heart longs for things I can’t explain
My feet are drawn to a place I’ve never been
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